Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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