Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize