I must be too annoying 4 u.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
