Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
