their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
