You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
