My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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