You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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