i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
