She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just high enough for therapy.
I AM VODKA MAN
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
