um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
