just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
