try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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