Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
