just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
