from now on my penis is your penis
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
