She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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