Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
