you have to choose: penises or morals?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
