Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
