I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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