Got a toothbrush?
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
