I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
