you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
