u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
