So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
