Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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