I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize