i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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