He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
