Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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