He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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