Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
