i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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