we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
