after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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