She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
