just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
