Cold hands, warm shart.
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Is Oprah even human
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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