I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize