At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
