as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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