We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
we're so committed to being not committed
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
