He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize