Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
