she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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