Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
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