she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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