I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
