As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
