That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
