just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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