There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
