wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
