I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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