Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
