Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
