Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Someone came in the potted fern
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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