dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
